Height Problems
by greatgooglymoogly88
Summary: Dave is finally on his way to meet his best bro John after years of chatting online. When he gets there, however, Dave is surprised to find out how tiny his best friend really is. I guess that calls for a make out scene or whatever. An ironic make out scene.


_This story is basically pointless. I watched 'Height Problems' and i was like, I totally need to expand on that. Well, this is it._

_(edit: I would just like to make sure that everyone understands that this is entirely based off of the video 'Height Problems' which I believe is by HomestuckVAtroupe. I am not in any way affiliated with the page and am only a fan of the video. Regardless, please enjoy and review! Please look at my other stories as well, if you wish ^.^ I appreciate the support.)_

_~Ari _

* * *

"Are you here yet?"

"Almost there, bro," I assured into my cell phone, laughing at my best friend's blatant eagerness. We had been planning to meet up for months and I was currently in a taxi, making my way to John's house in a suburban neighborhood in Washington.

The plane trip was relatively short, but the car ride from the airport was long as hell and Egderp was getting impatient. This was literally the third time he'd called me since the plane landed. The guy was obsessed with me or something. I chuckled to myself at the thought. Yeah, he was totally in love with me. In a strictly bros for life way, of course. I think.

"Okay, so you know my address, right? Dave?" I could hear agitation in John's voice.

"Yeah. 21605 Fir Dr, Maple Valley, Washington," I recited, just so he'd calm down. "I'm literally like fifteen minutes away so keep your shit together until then." John reluctantly agreed and we ended the phone call, him reminding me once again of where he lived.

For the next fifteen minutes, I rested against the window, taking in the early winter Washington scenery. The first thing I realized was how fucking cold it was compared to Texas. I was literally shivering in the back seat. I instantly regretted my decision not to bring a coat with me. Hopefully Egderp had a sweater or something laying around, because there was no way I'd survive the next week without one.

Pretty soon, the cab pulled up in front of a standard looking suburban house, nothing really remarkable about it except for the familiar address printed on the mailbox up front. I paid the cab driver, pulling out my suitcase and surveying the building. It looked fine enough. Probably not as ironically decorated as my apartment back home, but whatever. It was John I was dealing with here. He didn't really understand the delicate art of delicious irony.

I rang the doorbell, and I have to admit; for the few solitary moments it took for the door to be opened, I was pretty damn excited. I never get excited about anything. That's not cool. But, it felt awesome to finally meet my best bro after years of just chatting up online. My stony facade cracked, a crooked smile breaking out on my lips when I heard the doorknob turn for the other side.

Wait, what?

Nobody was there. The fuck?! Did the door just open on it's own or-

"Hey!" I gasped, taking a step back when I heard a voice calling from in front of me.

"What?" I asked dumbly, looking around for the source of the voice. It sounded male; could it be John? He was probably hiding somewhere and this was one of his silly pranks.

"Down here," the disembodied voice called, and I looked slightly down to find a ridiculously short guy with messy black hair and glasses. Shit, _that was John? _The kid was sixteen years old and couldn't be any taller than 5'2.

Fuck I wanted to hug him.

"Uh...hey, bro," I greeted dumbly, staring at the short guy in shock. "I almost didn't recognize you. I didn't expect you to be so..."

"So...what?" John asked, cocking his adorably small head to the side. Holy balls, he was like a little doll or whatever.

"So, well, _tiny."_

John puffed out his chest, the angry look seeming misplaced on his petite face. "I am not tiny! I'm average! You're just fucking huge!" I guess I was, in comparison. At 6'3, I must have looked like a giant to the little guy. I noticed the slight blush on his freckled cheeks. Heh.

"Bro, you're totally not average." I laughed.

"Whatever," John sighed, still looking insulted. "Just get down here and give me a tender first meeting embrace." He opened his little arms wide, and I gladly complied to his demand, bending my knees awkwardly to get to his level.

"I'm all open."

"Wow," John rolled his eyes, laughing. "Way to make it awkward!"

"Your height is what's awkward!" Yes. Hell yes. _Hell fucking yes. _

_"_I could say the same to you!" John defended, wrapping his thin arms around my neck. Oh my god, it was like hugging a kitten. I couldn't help but lift the little guy up, accompanied by an exclamation of 'alli-oop!'

John gasped, grabbing onto my shoulders and blushing harder. It barely felt like I was carrying anything. "Wow," I said. "How much do you weigh, like 95 pounds?"

"98 and growing..." John laughed, looking embarrassed. "Now put me down so I can show you around."

"No can do, bro," I said and I carried John through his doorstep bridal style. "This is just way too much fun."

"This is so uncool of you," John sighed, struggling fruitlessly to wriggle out of my grasp. "You can't just carry me around my own house. You don't know where anything is!"

"That's no problem. You can just tell me where to go." There was no way I was letting John down any time soon; he was just way to much like a little fuzzy kitten. He'd just have to deal with it for now.

John sighed, giving up and finally slumping down in my arms. "Fine," he sighed. "My room is up the stairs, first door on the left. Let's start in there." I nodded, walking up the stairs into my best bro's bedroom. It was how I expected it to look; cheesy movie posters all over the wall, a few harlequins here and there, his computers, a bed, the usual. It was totally John. Super dorky but endearing.

I finally put the smaller boy down, causing him to quickly dash to the safety of his bed. "Never do that again," he warned, looking adorably pissed. He stuck his tongue out at me.

I laughed, deciding I would tease him a little bit. Taking a step closer, I whispered, "You sure you didn't like it?"

John blushed bright red, scooting back on his bed. He looked so fucking cute oh my god. I leaned down, resting my upper half on the edge of his bed so we were at eye level. John stuttered, saying, "N-no! It was embarrassing as hell."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you, " I said genuinely. "I'm sorry. You're just so huggable."

"I don't know if that a compliment or an insult."

"It's a compliment, duh," I assured, sitting up fully on his bed. I noticed how he bunched up the sheets in his small hands as I got closer. Was he nervous? Or scared of me? "I wouldn't try to insult you, John. At least not in a way to hurt you. I just mean you're really cute."

"Wow, you're awfully straight forward," John squeaked, avoiding my gaze. I guess I was; but it was exciting to actually see him like this, in person. I could finally see all of his facial expressions and movements, I could actually reach out and touch him. To be honest, I had been harboring a bit of a crush on Egderp for a while now.

"Sorry," I apologized, scooting back. "I don't want to make this weird."

"Whatever. It's already weird." John hesitated for a moment, as if in thought. "Is it okay if I make it just a little weirder?"

I laughed, "Whatever you want, bro. It's your house."

I was surprised to immediately find myself with John on my lap, kissing me softly and nervously. I was shocked, but what the hell? I kissed him back, tangled my fingers in his thick black hair. "Hngh," I moaned. "Where did this come from?"

"What?" he laughed, breaking away for a moment. "Don't you like it?"

"Ah. I see what you're doing," I said, raising an eyebrow. "You think you can beat me at my own game. But, my dear Egderp, I will be victorious!" I grabbed the back of his neck, smushing my lips to his and prodding them with my tongue, demanding entrance. He allowed, kissing me back just as deeply.

"Shut up, Strider! I'll be the winner this time!" John pushed me back on the bed so my head was on the pillow. He staddled my lap, kissing me harder and running a hand across my waist.

The fuck was happening? This was a whole new side to John I had never seen before. Was I even at the right house?! All I knew was that this kid was making me really hot.

I groaned, switching things up a little bit. There was no way Egderp was getting the best of me. I turned over, causing john to fall beneath me. I kissed his neck, nipping him softly. He moaned. _Hell yeah. _"I didn't know you were capable of such sounds," I teased.

"W-whatever!" John gasped, blushing. "You did it too." I resumed my nips, wanting him to make that sound again. I lifted his shirt up, exposing his thin midriff. I brushed my thumbs across his stomach, resulting in another moan from the small boy.

"Oh yeah?" John challenged. "How do you like this?" He cupped a hand over my crotch, rubbing rhythmically. Oh, shit.

I could feel myself hardening up. I sighed, burying my face in John's shoulder and automatically grasping his waist. "Oh..."I breathed, kissing him again. I ran my tongue down his lip, biting lightly. He kissed back, his hand still rubbing my nether regions. My hips bucked, meeting with John's above me.

I picked up the pace, though knowing I wouldn't last much longer at this rate. I pulled off John's shirt entirely, exposing his whole chest. He was built very delicately, in a very boyish way. His skin was soft and warm, and I itched to take off his pants as well.

Egbert seemed to have other ideas. He sat up, and I protested at the loss of friction. He stuck his little pink tongue out at me again, laughing. "I win!"

"Ugh, dammit Egbert!" I exclaimed, pushing him.

"That's what you get for calling me tiny!"


End file.
